


Stronger in the End

by LesbianShipsAF



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Rape Recovery, empowering, i have no idea what any tags should be, it will only take like a minute, please read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:12:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbianShipsAF/pseuds/LesbianShipsAF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, I was sexually assaulted, but I’m okay. Yes, it happened to me but I survived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stronger in the End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for clicking on my fandomless random work. Just a little Drabble that might turn into my college admission essay.

“No,” I think I said it out loud. Did I? I’m not sure. All I can hear is my heart pounding. I open my mouth to protest but nothing comes out. I want to move, to push, to scream, but I can’t. Why can’t I? My whole body is frozen in place. Time is moving very slowly, or at least I think it is. I don’t know how long it has been but it feels like it will never end. “Stop, please,” I’m sure I said it out loud that time. My voice sounds so weak, so powerless. Just stop.

“What don’t you like it?” The words it me like a brick. They sound so normal, like this is a genuine question. Fear and hate are in my eyes and I contort my body trying to get away. However, my efforts are futile.

“No, please let me go,” I pled. In this moment I feel so pathetic, but I just need it to stop. The voice, the feeling of hands on my body it is too much. I feel like I’m going to throw up. The tears that rimmed by eyes fell down across my hot face. Just stop.

When it’s over I just lie there. I can’t move, or maybe I just do not want to. What’s the point? After what just happened to me, I don’t care what comes next. I sit there in shame and wait for the night to be over.

“Kate, don’t be so rude to them!” my mother yells at me the next morning. I simply roll my eyes and sit back down. If only she knew. The irony is so unbelievable I actually have to suppress a laugh.  
I still do as she says, and be nicer to the person whom sexually assaulted me the night before. I decided I would just forget what happened. However, the denial stage was short lived.

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t forget for long, it became virtually the only thing I could ever think about. “What don’t you like it?” Those words repeated themselves over and over and over again in my mind. All the time I could her that evil voice. Ironically, I used to think the voice was calm and soothing, now every time I hear it I cringe and can feel bile rising in my throat. Someone so sacred, so warm has turned into my worst nightmare. I just couldn’t fathom why someone would betray my trust like that. I still can’t.

People always say time heals all wounds and I guess it does. Until something takes me back there, back to that awful moment. Every time I tried to tell myself it was all over, it would hit me again. All of a sudden I hear the voice, the sounds of the TV playing in the background, and can feel hands all over me.

That doesn’t happen very often anymore. I had to learn how to be strong for myself. I met some wonderful people who helped me realize that it was not my fault and that I should not be ashamed. These two lessons have helped me enormously. All along I was trying to forget but by remembering and accepting have made me into a stronger person.

It took me awhile to admit it to myself, but taking ownership of my past is what has saved my future. Yes, I was sexually assaulted. Yes, it happened to me. This may be where my story begins, but I won’t let it be where it ends. I am not a victim, I am a survivor. Yes, I was sexually assaulted, but I’m okay. Yes, it happened to me but I survived.


End file.
